Monday, November 28, 2011

Episode 43: Back to (a new) life

I had planned a different blog post for today, but I forgot what it was. Anyway...

I have to get back on track.  Thanksgiving week really screwed up my diet, and so now, I have to do something about it.  I have to do something about my life.  I have to something about my EVERYTHING! LOL

Ok.. so.. I have six months until my divorce is final.  That is six months to get myself started on a routine, develop some good habits and start making myself healthier and happier, as well as help those around me be healthier and happier too.

I do a lot of complaining to other people about my own problems.  I also do a lot of gushing to other people that I am in love.  It just happens that way.  It is because that is what is on my mind at the time. It's not that I don't listen to other people's problems, and it's not that I don't try to help them if I feel that I can do something for them, but I spend a lot of time talking about myself, and I think I need to stop doing that.  I'ts very selfish.  This is just something that I've noticed about myself.  Now, of course, my blog is different. My blog is very selfish and I can be selfish here... because it is my blog.  I try not to post anything *too* personal here, or rather, not something that everybody in my life knows about (or at least should be caught up about).  I try to post here about my thoughts, but I won't put in details about private stuff, and I try to make sure that I don't get in trouble here.  I have paper journals for writing out stuff like that.

But now, I have six months.  A time frame for a goal.  I think I like that idea.. a sort of deadline for a new life. I'm thinking about joining the Saturday afternoon Stitch n' Bitch group at my local Panera.  I'm thinking about maybe going back into therapy for a while, just to have a professional help me work through stuff. (I have been off my pills for a few months now and I'm feeling incredibly stable. Amazing what growing up can do for your emotional state).  I have more time to myself, to lesson plan and grade and work on becoming the best damned teacher I can be (in spite of my students).  I know that I want to finish a novel in the next six months and start editing it for possible publication.  I need to start writing fiction again... not some inane drabble about my life.

I feel refreshed.. renewed.  Peaceful.

I know I can do this. I have the strength to do anything.  I can pull my friends and loved ones along with me into this new life too, if they want to come for the ride.

Ok.. my ten minutes of writing for the morning are done.  Breakfast is eaten (granola with soy milk and banana), and I have to go start a new day at school.  Three weeks until Winter Break.  Five weeks to pack up my old place and find a new one. I can live with those timelines.

Peace love and happiness to all!


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