Thursday, December 8, 2011

Episode 47: Taking Care of Myself

I talk about change a lot here, but that is because I feel like I'm changing.. and I am.

I used to be a slob.  Ok.. well.. I'm a little bit of a slob still, but I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be.  I can actually see the carpet in my apartment, I can actually move around without tripping over something.  But, I have also noticed that my slovenly ways are receding from my personal self too.

Showers and long hot baths are something that I have always enjoyed immensely.  I used to just jump out, grab my clothes (whatever I was wearing that day) and get dressed quickly and be out the door.  My morning routine is beginning to take a bit of a longer time, and I think it is because I'm beginning to respect myself more. Now, when I get out of the shower, I put lotion on, to keep my skin soft.  I like the feel of it on newly shaved legs, and the way that the cloth of my pants sort of slides over this newly treated skin.  It feels good on my arms and the rest of my body as well, but I notice it most on newly shaved legs.  I LOVE Bath and Body Works Sensual Amber. It is my favorite scent (even though today I found an old container of Chocolate Body Butter, so I smell like a chocolate bar yay!) and I have the body wash and the lotion and the triple hydrating body cream as well.  So, that makes me smell good.

I used to just throw my hair up in a bun, wet or not, and let it dry that way. It made for some interesting curls.. or very damp hair, when I finally took out the bun at the end of the day.  Now, after putting on my lotion, I take the towel off of my hair and actually use the blow dryer.  It makes my hair soft and shiny and while it doesn't add any curl (my hair is really really naturally straight) it does give it a lot of shine and a lot less of that horrible fuzziness.

I tend towards comfortable clothes.. jeans and t-shirts, rather than stylish or overly professional, but even with this, as I put on my clothes, I am finding that I choose them much more carefully.  I look over what I plan to wear, I pick it out and feel good about my choices.  It may not be perfect or what is the most latest or modern thing, but I feel good getting dressed in the morning.  I can't wait to weigh a LOT less so that when I do put on clothes, they fit really well, and look stylish.  Even in Second Life, where my body is perfect, I tend towards jeans and sweaters.  It's just my style (unless I'm being cute, and then it's mini-skirts and thigh high stockings and sweaters... and maybe I'll wear more of that if I get myself down to a good 130 pounds or so. LOL)

Anyway, the gist is that...I feel better about myself.  I am respecting myself more and I feel that I am worth taking care of.  The wrinkles that are coming in on my face from age are all laugh lines, my body is beginning to be in the best shape I've been in for at least five years, and I feel that with time and effort, I can do just about anything.

On a side note, just a little one, this new self respect.. is making me not want to take shit from my students anymore so I'm really getting annoyed at disrespectful behavior.  Looks like I have some behavior modifications to do in my classroom as well.

Off for a glorious day watching movies with my students! (Premonition is a great follow up to irony and ambiguity!)

Have a glorious day!


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