A confession: Since AM has been here, I haven't really been counting points. I haven't been eating awfully,and we are keeping each other on task for exercise and walking and being healthy. I haven't been following the Weight Watcher's way, and I haven't been going to meetings, or even really weighing in.
But... I feel healthier. I am happy. I admit, my weight has always been a bit of a hassle for me, a bit of a sore spot, and it's not like I don't care about it, but I am happier and I think healthier even if I'm not really paying attention to points. I eat my vegetables with (nearly) every meal. Instead of candy bars and carbs in my desk, I keep a small container of nuts and dried fruit next to my projector at school and munch a bit while my students are working. Instead of ice cream every night (I was incredibly addicted to Drumsticks for a while), I grab a mandarin orange out of the basket on our table.
Don't get me wrong, I do still eat ice cream and brownies. I still make mini pies for dinner (bacon, mushroom and cheddar are my favorites), but I'm not constantly craving it anymore. I'm not constantly in need of something sweet. I do enjoy it from time to time, but my cravings are starting to go away.
I am watching my carb intake, and my sugar intake (although the White Chocolate Mocha I just had at Starbucks probably would kill any Atkins subscriber immediately), but I'm not starving myself, I'm not feeling deprived. I feel healthier than I have in a really long time. I do sort of envy the people who start and continue a program like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or even Atkins. These are things I just don't have the mental toughness and will power to follow through on. So, I will just keep on keeping on, making healthier choices without really depriving myself and I will just learn to be happier. I"m learning that happiness, in the long run, means more to me than food.
I am finding other things to be happy about: my Nook, my wonderful boyfriend, a shared meal at the dinner table, a good conversation. I will always be thankful that AM has brought these things into my life. (Ok... ok... enough sappy romance.)
I will continue with my weight loss journey. I will lose weight, but I will not obsess over it. I will eat healthier foods (and share them with you, oh obscure reader). I will strive to lead a healthier, happier, more active lifestyle. For now, I leave with one parting thought:
It is not how much you weigh that will be weighed in the balance at the end of your life. Friends and family will not judge you on how large your casket is, but how large your heart was. Be kind, gentle reader, to those around you. It is the greatest measure of a person.
With love and lollipops,
ToryLynn
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