Episode 83: My tools

My school year has finished up.  The grading and the reading and the meetings that have kept me from blogging and writing and just finding my place in the world are over and I can be selfish... at least for a little while.

For the next two weeks, I will covet my time, since little of it will be mine. The little bit of time I get to myself, such as now, in the early morning hours, I will cherish.  I will use this time to clean up my office (which badly needs it), work on some craft projects and read and rest and reflect and hopefully do a lot more writing.  I want to do morning pages. I want to read Sophie's World.  I want to get healthy, not just physically, but also mentally.  I want to be able to dance at my wedding, play with my eventual children and live a good long, healthy and happy life.  And I can do it, with the help of some tools that I need to pick up again.

Tools are good things. They help you maintain, reflect, become better.  I am a a huge supporter of tools, and I use a few on a semi-regular basis.  Well.. anybody who really knows me knows that I do very little out of habit or on a regular basis.  I can't even really seem to remember to take my meds every day.  Hmmm

Anyway, here are a few of my tools that I have picked up as I go along my merry way...

Tool One: My big pink notebook. AM calls it my "bible" and it's sort of an apt description.  I keep everything in there. It has 5 sections right now.  The first is my planner, second is food stuffs, third is blog ideas and random writings, fourth is wedding stuffs, and fifth is financial stuffs.  If I lose the thing, I won't be able to remember anything.  It has a nice loop for my pink fountain pen and it is wonderful.  I carry it with me nearly everywhere, though it does need to get cleaned out and replaced sooner or later... probably sooner.

Tool Two: My pen.  I have a hot pink Levenger True Writer fountain pen with Hope Pink ink in it.  (you may be noticing a trend.. it is my favorite color).  I almost put Morning Pages as my second tool, but I don't really write them as habitually as I am supposed to. One of my summer goals that I will be writing about in a later post (probably tomorrow).  My pink pen, like my pink notebook, goes with me everywhere.  It is a reminder that I am supposed to write.  It is a reminder that I can jot down a note and my weird kinesthetic brain will remember it more readily than just reading it or asking someone else to remind me.

Tool Three: Our big freakin' white boards.  We have two in the house. One of them is our calendar, which we write up every month and our To Do List for that month. It hangs next to our front door in a prominent place near the table in the kitchen. The other, much more neglected one, is in my office, full of project ideas that never really get done.  I have to work on this this summer.

Took Four: My phone.  In this day and age, I couldn't live without my phone. AM is constantly saying that I am always on my phone and I'm afraid he's right. I use my phone to help track everything.  It is my backup calendar which I coordinate with the planner in my pink notebook. It my food tracker, my mood tracker, my link to other people through Facebook.  I use a few fitness apps, and am trying out new ones all the time (most of them are free).

My final and Fifth (and best) tool: AM and my friends circle.  I cannot say how much these people have helped me.  From my online big brother, RO, to our Stockton Writer's Group, I have so much support.  Having a live in personal trainer and personal chef helps, as AM is constantly helping me be a better person and reminding me that I am so much more than I think I am and I can do so much more than I think can.  These people have helped me and made my life amazing.  They are supportive and give me great suggestions and kudos and high fives and big hugs and I appreciate and love them all for it.

Anywaysssss.... before I get too sappy... I am going back to bed.  I walked 3.74 miles yesterday and I am SO feeling it right now.  Now that I'm off for the summer, I plan on making writing part of my regime, as well as some reading, some exercising and a lot of snuggling from my wonderful AM! :)

Love and Lollipops,

ToryLynn

Episode 73: Motivation

Tonight I went with my mother and my sister to pick up my wedding dress.  The picture to the right is me in the dress (AM is in the back, taking pictures and helping me pick it out.).  We had to squeeze me into the dress and, while I could sit down and walk around in it, it felt tight.  Not like "I can't breathe tight", but I was a bit uncomfortable.  Even looking at the picture to the right makes me a bit uncomfortable to see the flabby arms and the back fat.  But, OMIPU!! What a beautiful gorgeous dress and it is so perfect for me.    I can't wait to walk down the aisle and have AM at the end, greeting me.

The stuffing of me into the dress motivates me to take the challenge I am on a bit more seriously.  Tonight's dinner at the Black Bear Diner not withstanding, I need to get more serious about weight loss so that I can look even more stunning in this fabulous dress.  I need to find back and arm exercises that will help me work away some of that fat back there and make it so that the dress just slips on and laces up without me feeling like I am being put into a corset.  This motivates me more than anything else right now.  My hot pink Converse go great with it and are totally me, peeking out from under the dress as I walk (I have to get the hem picked up a bit so I can wear the shoes rather than wear high heels).

Motivation comes from  many places.  My motivation is one of the more commonplace ones.  Many women say "I want to look better on my wedding day".  Some people want to do it so that they can spend more time with their kids. Some just want to be healthier and some want the challenge of doing something that they never thought that they would do before.  I have friends, TG and KT, who do 5k runs and nearly marathon pace running. I am inspired by them, but my motivation comes from myself.  Most motivation must be internally driven, not externally.  If you want to do something, find your own reasons, and whatever reasons they are, and make them yours. Make the challenge yours.  Because if it doesn't come from inside you, if it doesn't come from somewhere internal where that little voice is crying out to tell you that you <b>can</b> be a better person, then it isn't the right motivation for you.  Doing things for other people never helps anybody.

I should get one of those shirts that say "Team Bride" on them and wear it to Curves and sweat up a storm.. it can be part of my workout outfit.  I"m off to search Amazon and ThinkGeek!  I hope you all find whatever motivates you to greatness, because I think you are all great!

Love and Lollipops,

ToryLynn