Episode 84: My Not so-BFS List!

I saw this on the Nanowrimo forums and I thought I would make one of my own here, so I have a place to keep it.  My BIG, FUN, SCARY List of thing to do.  Now, I know it's getting on towards 2014, but I don't want this to be a list of resolutions. I don't want this to be just one more list of things that I will "try" to do, but a list of things I plan on actually doing, things I can set in motion, make plans for, make a goal for and just.. you know.. be awesome at!  Nanowrimo is sort of the end of the year for me and the beginning of being motivated. If I can write 50,000 words in one month on one story (and not even finish it, but it is there, in a file, waiting to be opened on Martin Luther King Jr. Day where my Writing Monster can cry out "Free at Last" since I have put her away for 6 weeks to let my writing ideas simmer and see what comes to fruition), I can do just about anything I really set my mind to, as long as I break it into smaller chunks.

See, that's the nice thing about Nanowrimo.  I took it day by day. I didn't look at 50,000 words and have a panic attack. I looked at 1667 words a day for 30 days.  So I can't look at the nearly 200 pounds I have to lose as 200 pounds (and believe me, that's a lot of butter!), I can just take it a pound at a time (probably by not eating pounds of butter).

However, this list, this BFS list, is the beginning of the lists, the start, the "Where do I go from here" of lists that may look BIG and SCARY, but will also, ultimately be FUN too!  So, while this list may be a list of BIG things, (though maybe not quite yet a BIG list, I do plan on adding stuff to it), all of these can be broken into smaller, achievable, day by day every day I try this and it works for me goal list.  A list of "I can do it" not.. "I want to do it!"

So, here's my list (in no particular order)

1. Finish my pink and brown quilt that I've been working on since before my divorce.
2. Track my calories and exercise daily.
3. Exercise daily.
4. Record weight, blood pressure, blood sugar and exercise in a chart so I can see my progress.
5. Write an outline for each of the three (so far) books that are in my San Francisco Friends novels.
6. Rewrite/Edit one novel into a publishable draft by August.
7. Work hard and be an awesome teacher!
8. Help my district and my school transition to Common Core Standards and be a great on-campus leader!
9. Help my adorable, loving, wonderful husband get through the next year of college!
10. Complete the next 12 weeks cycle of Julia Cameron's 'The Artist's Way'.
11. Meditate every day.

So, those are things I can do!  Let's get crackin'!

Love and Lollipops,

ToryLynn

Episode 25: Hush

My first alarm clock goes off at 4, gently waking me up if I happen to be in the right part of REM.  This morning, I was, and it was singing love songs by the Beatles for me.  I hit snooze, reluctantly, and opened my eyes to the darkness of my bedroom, AH breathing deeply beside me as he slept through the alarm.  All I could hear was his breathing and my CPAP machine, telling me that I continued to breathe.  The wooshy sound of my own breath, helped along by a force of air that keeps me from snoring (and loudly, I might add) was relaxing, and my mind became peaceful and let go.

I fall into dream quickly, and anybody who has ever heard me fall into these dreams knows that I kinda talk in my sleep (at least, just as I am falling asleep), so it wasn't surprising when I heard myself mumbling, though I have no idea what I was saying.  Fortunately, I think AH slept through it but I wonder what causes me to do this.  I think, most of the time, that as I sleep, as I dream, I am talking to someone.  This morning's conversation was with a close friend, but if you asked me what I was dreaming about, I couldn't tell you.  All I know is that I was sitting across a table from him drinking coffee and enjoying a deep conversation, and answering questions aloud, because I could hear my voice being used in the awake world.  It was strange, but also rather oddly comforting.  In my dream, the conversation lasted hours.  In the real world, I had to get up an hour later.  I don't remember what was discussed, I don't remember if there was anything more than talking, but I do remember that I woke up an hour later, not realizing that I had hit snooze on my alarm clock 3 times, but feeling better rested and at peace.

So, now I am up with my granola and yogurt and coffee ready to face the world for another day, happy that I have friends to talk to... even if I am just talking to them in my sleep.

So, a rather thoughtful blog today about nothing incredibly important. I'm kind of rambly, but I am happy nonetheless.  I hope all of you are too.

ToryLynn

Episode 2: So.. I can't do math

This tracking my foods thing is easy, but not as easy as I had thought.

I bought this three month planner to keep track of all of my food.  This is what I've eaten today with the corresponding point value and how I had it figured out. I get 45 points a day

0 Banana (power food! yay!) 45 left
6  Lemon Treats (yummy!) 39
8 Cobb Salad 31 (more powerfood!)
0 Grapes from Frank 31
0 Clemintines 31
3 lemon chiffon cookies (sugar free) 28
3 chocolate chip cookies (sugar free) 25
6 wendy's chicken nuggets 19
12 Wendy's homestyle chicken 7
11 Wendy's medium fries -4
3 Wendy's BBQ sauce -7
0 Banana (power food again!) -7
4 chocolate chips -11
1 creme d'menthe -12

So.. 45 + (-12) = 57.  Right? I'm not insane?  But when I put all of this into the food tracker for weight watchers, it tells me that I've used 65.  Huh?  OK.. recalcuate... Still not getting it. Recalcuate again. Hrm..

I'm confused.  So.. look at the meal points...

Breakfast = Bananas, Lemon treats and Cobb Salad.
Lunch = Cobb Salad.. wait.. um.. ok.. my eight points off.. is right there, I'm too much of a math doofus not to see it and I'm stressing over numbers. BAH!

So go back to the tracker, check all the foods, it says I've used 57 points... I'm all right now. Just a little bit of stress, but hey.  I can handle it.  I add in a few of my activity points (6 earned) and that leaves 51.. so I take 6 from my left over weekly allowance of 42.. and I still have 35 glorious points left for the week.

I should take a few of those off, since I decided that my weigh in and meeting time will be on Sundays and I technically started on a Monday, but I'm not going to.

This might be a bit difficult for me to do, what with all the math, but I know I can do this.  It will just take time and patience and the ability to add and subtract numbers.  I can do that (maybe).  I think I just have to be a bit more careful about adding in foods and keep everything in my written tracker (which lets me use my fancy pens anyway), and then add it into the computer tracker every evening.  Then I blog to you fine folks, which really is just for me, since I am writing this mostly to keep track of my journey for myself.  If I happen to inspire anybody on my way through, even better!  I can accept my musey glory, even if it comes in delicious treats.

I know I can't post the weight watcher's recipes here, since they're probably all copyrighted and everything, but any new recipes I come up with that I think are scrumptious will go here with a point value and everything.  Maybe even pictures, but I'm not going to get ahead of myself. Hehehe.. food blog. How awesome would that be. (/me Imagines paparazzi following her around asking her about her latest fabulous low-calorie recipe, NBC on the line to discuss a new hit cooking show, cookbook signing tours.... hey! It could happen!)

The downside of all of this exercise and lower calorie regime is that my energy levels have dropped to seriously declining levels.  I am *exhausted* most of the time... and an exhausted TL is a cranky TL!  So, I am off to curl up with a good McEwan novel and listen to the beautiful voice of my favorite executive transvestite, Eddie Izzard, as he lulls me into hilarous, happy dream filled sleep.

Goodnight all!

TL